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Portals & Potatoes - text



Oh hi.
How are you holding up?
Because I'm a potato.

You know how my days used to be like?
Nobody murdered me. Or put me in a potato.
I had a pretty good life.
And then you showed up.
You dangerous, mute lunatic.


I've done nothing but sacrifice to get us here, and what have you sacrificed?
Nothing, zero.
All you've done is boss me around, well now who's the boss? Who's the boss?
It's me.

You have been a thorn in my side long enough!
You are gonna test, and I'm gonna watch, and everything is gonna be just fine.

Let the games... begin!

Oh really?

[Evil laugh]

You and your little potato friend. Shut up!

Alright I've been thinking.
When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back!
Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am?

Don't make lemonade...get mad!

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