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Arrived in Helsinki, tired and sticky
My body hit the bed, I almost fell dead
Got to the venue, they ink-stamped my wrist, waitress asked me "Mark
Meat or white fish?"
Got up on the stage, the sound it was okay
But I struggled like a marlin on an unlucky day
Tried a few new songs, they looked at me like what?
Where's Katy Song, Mistress, and Grace Cathedral Park
Finland, Finland, so many trees, John Denver would be pleased
Finland, Finland, cold as ice but waitress she was nice

Met a Finn after, she was thin like a waif
Her big viking stepped in, big old oaf named Leif
Went back to my room, alone and I cried
Been a year to the day, that my kit cat died
Left Helsinki , next stop was Aarhus
A taxi, two airplanes, and a fucking shuttle bus
Denmark, Denmark, everybody's white
Everyone rides bikes
Denmark, Denmark, everyone rides bikes
Everybody's white

Left for London via Copenhagen, for a concert in the park at 1:30pm
Got up on the stage, people gathered round
A retro 80s band drowned out my sound
Went and got my check, went back to my room
Feeling suicide, feeling full of gloom
Turned on the TV, there was rioting and stuff
As if this city isn't depressing enough
London, London, it's all the rage
If your favorite color's beige
London, London, look right, look left
Makes me think of death

Off to Manchester, then to Bristol
Had a show on a boat, it was half full
Guy in the front, heckled me all night
His skin was a sickly mix of grey, pink, and white
Went back to my room, more riots on the news
Home sick as fuck, got the UK blues
Bristol, Bristol, cobblestone streets
People missing teeth
Bristol, Bristol, is this really what
People eat

Back to London, then to Belfast
Had to catch a plane
Had to get there fast
Had to get a room, had to change my clothes
Had to change my strings, check my sound, and play a show
Had to meet some friends, had to take a bath
Had to catch a flight, going home at last
Belfast, Belfast, out the taxi window, cows sleeping in the grass
Belfast, Belfast, out the taxi window, cows sleeping in the grass

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