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Story Of My Life - text

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GUARD:
(Spoken)
Alright, when I call your name step forward. Pinocchio, the puppet.

PINOCCHIO:
(Spoken)
I'm not a puppet I'm a real boy.
(Nose grows and he laughs)

GUARD:
(Spoken)
That's your patch of mud down there.

PINOCCHIO:
(Spoken)
Oh, dopped on a swamp. Man, I tell you sometimes being a fairytale creature sucks pine sap.

PINOCCHIO:
Life is disappointing,
Whoa is what I know.
Outted by my nose,
That's just how it goes,
For poor Pinocchio.
Story of my life,
Always doomed to fail.
Cheated by a fox,
Swallowed by a whale.
That's the story of my life, oh yeah,
That's the story of my life.

SHOEMAKER'S ELF:
Strife is never ending.

GUARD:
(Spoken)
Peter Pan!

PETER PAN:
Banished from the town

GUARD:
(Spoken)
Ugly Duckling!

UGLY DUCKLING:
They dragged me from the pond.

FAIRY GODMOTHER:
They pulled my magic wand.

THE THREE LITTLE PIGS:
They blew our condos down.

GUARD:
(Spoken)
Wicked Witch!

WICKED WITCH:
Life is but a witch hunt.

MAMA BEAR:
Mama's in the mud,
Mama's in distress.

GARDEN GNOME:
They ridiculed my hat.

THREE LITTLE PIGS:
They said that we were fat.

BIG BAD WOLF:
They tore my cotton granny dress,
And called me a hot and tranny mess.

GUARD:
(Spoken)
Sugar Plum Fairy!

ALL:
Story of my life.
Booted from ball
Told to go away.

HUMPTY DUMPTY:
Tumbled off a wall

ALL:
That's the story of my life.

GUARD:
(Spoken)
You're late rabbit.

WHITE RABBIT:
That's the story of my life.

GUARD:
(Spoken)
Have fun you guys

ALL:
That's the story of my life.

GUARD:
(Spoken)
And remember if we find you back in the kingdom you will be executed.

ALL:
I always dreamed I'd get a happy ending.

WICKED WITCH:
And this right here,
Not how it goes.

ALL:
I always dreamed I'd get an ever after.
If this is it,
It blows (x3)

PINOCCHIO:
(Spoken)
This is worse than that case of Dutch Elm Disease I caught in Tijuana.

ALL:
Story of my life,
All the wasted prayers.
All the broken dreams.

THE THREE BEARS:
All the broken chairs.

ALL:
All the damage done

THE THREE BEARS:
All the busted beds.

ALL:
All the shattered falls

THE THREE BEARS:
Pourage on our heads.

ALL:
That's the story of my life, yes sir.
That's the story of my life, oi vei.
That's the story of my,
Life

PINOCCHIO:
(Spoken)
Crap!

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