Friend Leader (A Kakat Vantas fansong) - text
There will be no soft sounds this time
no arms, not mine at least
should’ve expect this, I guess, no “shh” can soothe your beast
and it was my problem once, that violence inside your eyes
bright red and high with death and pie, and rage that never dies
and I used to blame myself, then I blamed everybody else, but never you
cause you were just a messed up kid,
who’d step in it, get scared and sit,
and pray for goats and gods who would know what to forbid
and when you would reach out, well I’d run my big mean mouth and make it worse
And maybe I deserve that hurt,
destruction of my universe,
so if you’ve gotta beat somebody up don’t make it her.
I’m sorry, I messed up, I’m not a leader anymore.
I’m sorry, I messed up, I’m not a leader.
Not a leader.
Not a leader, friend.
No more attempts to make you see, I tried, he succeeded, oh well
but what I can say to a girl who’d play with a noose of excuses until
her big wicked grin disappears in the smoke, and crack goes the rope pulled true
I know enough about doubt, and hating myself, to tell that you now know it too
and I used to blame myself, then I blamed everybody else, including you
but you were perfect as you were
all angled out, a blinding blur
so bright and beautiful, and clever, yeah for sure
But when you would reach out, well I’d run my big mean mouth and make a mess
And now it’s my turn to confess
I wasn’t there, I didn’t guess
that you were slipping, ‘till you tripped right off the edge
I’m sorry, I messed up, I’m not a leader anymore
I’m sorry, I messed up, I’m not a leader,not a leader, not a leader…
Said a thousands words but they never helped
I hid my scars from you out of shame
Took up the cause and I took the helm
But I’m not the only one who’s changed
I knew you first, and I knew you best
I wish I’d stopped it way back then
when things were bad, but they still made sense
when we were kids, when we were friends.
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