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If I had just one wish I'd feed the starving children
something bland at first like rice
so they could hold it down
Soon they'd develop tolerance
for western culture
and they'd be demanding happy meals
with gender appropriate toys
But if you give a man a fish
he eats for just one day
but if you teach that man to fish
he eats for a lifetime
But fishing is just a metaphore
there are many ways to find food
like farming
and hunting...
that's it, hunting!
Arm the children, give them guns
believe me they'll eat one way or another
in Africa they could shoot gazelles,
in Chicago they could robe a 7-11 for a microwave burrito
and let's be honest, stolen burritos just taste better
than the ones you buy with cash
those are for suckers!
If I had a second wish I'd take all the animals off the endangered species list
so we could eat them
I know it sounds insane, but hear me out:
A chicken's not endangered and neither is a cow,
coincidence? Perhaps
But I don't think so
If a 'whopper' was made with whale meat, we'd be growing them for food
If we change the way we order at our favourite restaurants
"I'll have a manatee supreme and a Hooters hot spotted-owl wings"
Arm the children, eat the whales
It's the only way mankind will survive
Would you rather feel like the French and live on snails?
I don't mean to be dramatic but I'll rather gauge my eyes out with a spoon
I have a third wish; Nuke the French,
With their hairy backs and five-o-clock shadow and those are just the women
They never bathe or wash their filthy hair
Let's arm those hungry, pissed off kids and send them there
la la la la
Arm the children, eat the whales and nuke the French
Everybody sing
La la la la
Oh yeah
Arm the children, eat the whales and nuke the French
(Help us treat the little babies?)
la la la la
Oh you, oh you've got to
Arm the children, eat the whales and nuke the French
Kill the French,
Kill the French,
Kill the French
la la la la
They've been begging for it
Arm the children, eat the whales and nuke the French
Nuke the French
The French
Nuke the French
French

Text přidala JudasMaiden


The Artist Formerly Known As Guitar Guy

Brian Haner texty

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