I wanna share a tale with you about the 'merican dream,
When all the railroads ran on time and our nation ran on steam.
Behind the tracks and railroad tyres, a hero took command
Of connecting every town, he was called... the Railroad Man! (The Railroad Man!)
The Railroad Man... can you take me to San Fran?
Can you take me down to Tennessee across the (?????) ?
Can you take me up Mt Everest and into Disneyland?
Can you get me there on time, oh can you do it? Railroad Man! (Railroad Man! Railroad Man!)
They called him that because he built the railroads and was male;
And they called 'em railroads 'cause they were like roads except with rails.
His eyes they say were made of coal, his toes were railroad spikes;
His trains had seven stars on yelp and a billion Facebook likes.
He made all of the track you see, hooked up the USA;
And he could have kept on going if not for that fateful day.
These two weird fellas came to town and invented human flight;
They called their ship an "aeroplane" and themselves... the Brothers Wright! (The Brothers Wright!)
"Our planes can transfer man without the need for rail;
Your industry is dying and your dream's going to fail!
So pull up your slacks and pack your tracks andget on out of town;
We don't need steam or steel beams to get ourselves around."
"Two Wrights don't make a right, and dang if that ain't wrong!
Hey that lyric ain't half-bad, I hope it ends up in a song.
If God intended man to fly, we'd be born in a flock;
Those Wright Brothers and their flight machine can go and suck a cock!
Those Wright Brothers can sniff my biff, they can give my ass a smell;
They can lick my shaft, and (?????) and their plane can burn in hell."
The Wright Brothers they challenged him; they said, "You think you're great?
Can your steam trains do a loop-de-loop without losing their freight?
And if you do it we'll leave town and we won't ever come back;
But if you fail you can take your rail and shove it up your crack!"
"Naww, the hell with you Wright Brothers, the sky's for birds!"
"And the ground's for turds, and you sir are the latter word."
Railroad Man! Can you rise to their demand?
Can your trains do a loop-de-loop, can they do it all on land?
Wilbur's talking smack about your track, Orville's railing on your rails;
Can you beat their ass with steam and brass, and even steel and nails? The Railroad Man.
The Railroad Man he spent a month looping up his track,
Then he gathered up the townsfolk and he told'em to stand back.
The train had started chugging, and the loop-de-loop drew near,
The train it was America, its freight our hopes and fears.
Everyone watched in silence, you could hear a needle drop;
The train it went straight up the loop and right on to the top...
The Railroad Man was finished, he knew he'd had his run,
The airplane beat him fair and square, and the railroad days were done.
But before he died he wrote a note for anyone that flies;
He wrote it all in railroad, so he could read it from the sky.
So take a look there down below, written in the land,
You'll see the final dying words of... the Railroad [Am] Man! (The Railroad Man!) The Railroad Man! (The Railroad Man!) The Railroad Man!