These false promises becoming anchors
Drowning with the hopes of something real.
Estranged to this person I've become
I feel contempt and diseased.
Solidifying my hatred of forced existence.
Pestilence pulses through my veins
It keeps me from draining it all.
Boarded up and black with rot.
I dream in better lights with less reflection.
Shadows upon shadows cast inside
I know there must be more to me.
Into the darkness that existed before the light.
Downward to death, the foundation of all life.
This cursed blood can't kill what's already dead inside.
As I attempt to terraform this misery.
Eroding life around me
Self-hatred binds my will to change.
Awaiting salvation with open jaws
Shepherding hope into the belly of the beast.
Digesting tired faith and shitting out lies
I haven't earned the right to self-peace.
Preservation through malice is the irony
As I'm consumed with thoughts of death.
When time comes
I'll enter my forest with no ribbon, just rope.