The adventures of the cow - text
Performed by Adam Sandler, Frank, and Randi
Transcribed by a fan
"And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch"
(Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow)
"And now a cow who goes skydiving for the very first time, and thinks his parachute isn't gonna open when it finnally does 40 feet from the ground"
M1: Alright cow, don't even think about just jump and enjoy the ride down, quit being a pansy and do it
"And now a cow who goes to the chicken hot drivethru and then gets halfway home before realising they forgot his french fries"
(Cow opening paper bag)
(Car screeches, and turns back around)
"And now a cow winning first prise in the bellyflop contest at spring break and then realises he can't swim"
(Cow walking towards pool, big splash)
"And now a club gets a dance at a classy strip club, when a bouncer notices he doesn't have any shoes on"
F1: Ohh baby you like it when I dance with you
F1: Uh uh uh, you can't touch that
Bouncer: Keep your hands off the girl
Bouncer: Hey cow, you got no shoes on you gotta leave
M2: Hey watch it cow
"And now a cow playing tennis against farmer Stinky Thumbs Arbuckle when the farmer makes an obvious bad call"
(Tennis ball being hit)
Farmer: That was out
Farmer: Don't tell me it wasn't cause I saw it and that was out
Farmer: By at least 3 feet that's how far, come in look there is still a mark where it's out
Farmer: Don't tell that was from an old ball, that was this ball and this ball was out
Farmer: You cannot see from that angle
"And now a cow recieves a phone call who he thinks is from a famous actor but he soon finds out it's just a practical joke"
(Phone rings, cow picks it up)
Farmer: Hello may I speak to the cow
Farmer: Hi, I'm a famous actor
Farmer: Oh, thank you very much, I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me
Farmer: Why don't I make reservations?
Farmer: And why don't I tell you my real name? farmer Stinky Thumbs Arbuckle
Farmer: Take that fatty
(Slams down phone)
"And now a cow gets his revenge on farmer Stinky Thumbs Arbuckle"
Farmer: Pull over, pull the vehicle to the side of the road, I am warning you for the last time.
(Car hits farmer)
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