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DAMIAN
Ironically, I need to scare you straight
Because this should not be how we roll
We get these ideas and we just can't wait
But there is a price

You want to do slash have it all
Because you have no impulse control
So before you snap, tag, like, or god forbid call
Here is my advice
Stop

When you send five texts
And you get none back
So you want to send a sixth one
Stop
You gotta stop

Stop
When you’re failing math
‘Cause you think it’s more attractive
To guys if you’re stupid
Stop

Do better and stop
I know it’s hard but try
Don’t instantly gratify
My god, girl, he’s just a guy
You really need to stop

Stop
You’re gonna make a mess
And then who’s going to get the mop?

JANIS
This guy!

DAMIAN
When you talk
And you talk ‘til you can’t get calm
It keeps coming out like
Word vomit. Stop!
Eat a cracker and stop

JANIS (spoken)
Cady, we all make bad choices, sometimes. Damian, tell her about Phillip

DAMIAN
Oh, at art camp, I played Lumiere
And the Beast and I had a fling
I’d run my fingers through his hair
Well, beast. So, fur

His second show was Anything Goes
And his co-star was some female thing
And when they kissed
Which by the way, gross
I wanted to murder her

But no one told me stop stalking him
And that pasty catholic girl
Who is playing Hope Harcourt
Of course, cause, basic
Stop

CHRISTIAN, MARWAN & SHANE
STOP! STOP! STOP!

DAMIAN
I couldn’t stop

CHRISTIAN, MARWAN & SHANE
Dude, you really need to stop

DAMIAN
Stop
Posting comments on Youtube
As four different people
That her "De-Lovely" was pitchy
Stop

CHRISTIAN, MARWAN & SHANE
STOP! STOP! STOP!

DAMIAN
I really had to stop

CHRISTIAN, MARWAN & SHANE
He didn’t stop

DAMIAN
‘Cause when you feel attacked
That’s a feeling, not a fact
Don’t jump online and react
You really need to stop
Stop
Picking at…

DAMIAN, CHRISTIAN, MARWAN & SHANE
The emotional zit
That you can’t pop

DAMIAN
For four whole weeks
I trolled and dissed her
Then I found out
She was his sister! Stop!
Hashtag obsessed, stop

CHRISTIAN, MARWAN & SHANE
STOP!

DAMIAN (spoken)
And now he won’t talk to me, and he won’t accept my edible arrangements. Ladies, what have you learned from your worst ideas?

TAYLOR WEDELL
Oh! Stop
When you think to yourself
Should I get a tattoo
Of the Chinese word for wisdom?
Stop
Check the spelling and stop!
It means bucket

CAITLYN CAUSSIN
Stop
When you’re babysitting kids
And you make them go to bed
So you can take their mom’s oxy
Stop
Stick to vodka and stop

KAREN
Stop
When you have a huge crush on a boy
And he asks you to send nude pics
And you’re like “Wow, he likes me”
So you send them
But don’t crop your head off
‘Cause you’re only thirteen
And don’t know any better
And I guess his friends shared them
‘Cause now you’re all over
A porn site called “Amateur Tweens”

Stop!
‘Cause I’m actually a human being and not a prop

DAMIAN & GIRLS
Think before posting…

KAREN
Sending…

TAYLOR WEDELL
Tattooing!

DAMIAN & GIRLS
Stop

DAMIAN
Good work, ladies, let’s take a break. A-five-six-seven-eight!

DAMIAN & GIRLS
Stop
Stop

CADY
Jesus

DAMIAN & GIRLS
As right as it might seem
To overshare, troll or meme
That’s just low self esteem
In your brain like a bull in a china shop

DAMIAN
Stop
Being glued to your phone
Counting followers and likes and ignoring your friends

DAMIAN (spoken)
She’s leaving just like my dad

DAMIAN & GIRLS
Stop, stop, stop
We can’t stop
Stop, stop, stop
We can’t stop
Stop, stop, stop
You really gotta

DAMIAN
Stop

DAMIAN & GIRLS
Honestly, everyone stop

Text přidala Giinger

Video přidala Giinger

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