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We were sitting in the living room on the sofa
The wrong way round, looking out the window
It was quiet, and then in the car park across the road
We saw Elvis - look, there beside the postman's van
And he was walking round the postman's van
Looking in the open door

He looked as if he was thinking about getting in
But then the postman came back
And he swaggered off
Walked past the window and down the stairs
And then at the bottom of the stairs right
By the caretaker's office
He started licking the pavement

Every night now since we moved in that new house
There's this noise outside the door at just about half seven
Or eight o' clock every night

And if we go and look outside the door
Elvis'll be standing there waiting to be let in
And then he wanders into the living room
Maybe sits down on one of the chairs
Or even lies down on the floor

He doesn't say much
He just stays there for an hour or two, watching the TV
We talk to him a bit
And then around ten o' clock, he'll go away again
And not come back until the next night

There's a lot of lanes and stuff around here
Around the house - although it's right in the middle
Of the city it seems quite like the country
It's dead hidden - safe I suppose, made for night living
There's a lot of squirrels and birds
And Stuart says he's seen about nine foxes
There when he's jumped over the fence on
His way to Byres Road

Sometimes you can go out walking
And when you've been out for a wee while even you don't know
Where you are anymore
So it would be pretty hard for anyone else to find you
I suppose that's why he spends so much time there
That's why he's come to live there, or maybe it's
Just the squirrels
I read about somewhere that he likes squirrels quite a lot
There's these two videos that we got for wedding presents -
Called the e-files, e-files one and e-files two about how Elvis is
Supposed to be still alive

And one time when he came round we were watching one of
Those, but he didn't say anything he just sat on the armchair
He was playing with his collar a bit, and we watched
It right through and then when it finished he just
Got up and walked off into the mist and didn't say anything
The first few times he came round I didn't speak to him at all
I wasn't really sure what to say
And Karen spoke to him quite a lot -
She seemed to know what to do more than I do
He had quite a strange manner though
He'd go into your stuff and look through it, then he'd maybe
Pick something up and play with it for a wee while
But he'd never make any comment about any of it
Seemed pretty rude to me. I just watched whatever Karen did
And listened to how she talked to him and then
After a while I started to copy that, and tell him a few things
Not really bothered about whether he
Responded or said anything back or not. I think the first time
I spoke to him we were sitting up on the mezzanine and
I said that I would tell him about me and wee Karen
And how it was that we'd come to be living there
I thought he probably liked the fact that we were
Living there because he came round so much, so
I thought he might want to know how it was that it came about
We did it all over backwards, I told him
First of all we got to know each other
And then a while after that we met
And when we'd known each other for
About seven years we decided to have an anniversary
And that went quite well
So after the anniversary we had a honeymoon
And that went well too
So after that we decided that we would get married
That's why we're living there now
I used to think my dad was
Elvis, but I haven't told him that yet. I haven't told my dad either...

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